The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup?

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.

Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.

It's easier to direct. If you direct something poorly and re-shoot it the next day, stage it better, make it work better, you have a lot of possibilities. You can edit it in certain ways so that it works, but there's no getting around weaknesses of the script.

he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something

I don't inhale because it gives you cancer, but I look so incredibly handsome with a cigarette that I can't not hold one.

I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke!