Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak.

I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons.

90% of success in life is showing up

As an artist, you are always striving toward an ultimate achievement but never seem to reach it. You shoot a film, and the result could have always been better. You try again, and fail once more. In some ways I find it enjoyable. You never lose sight of your goal. I don’t do my job to make money or to break box office records, I simply try things out. What would happen if I were to achieve perfection at some point? What would I do then?

Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.

A stockbroker is someone who invests other people's money until it is all gone.

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to.