It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously.

If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something.

Some people are funny, and some people are not funny. Many people who are not funny can make a living at it. You don't have to be great to make a living at it. Just like a doctor who doesn't have to be great can still make a living out of it.

For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives.

[An audience conditioned by a lifetime of television-watching is so corrupted that] their standards have been systematically lowered over the years. These guys sit in front of their sets and the gamma rays eat the white cells of their brains out!