Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.

Harvard makes mistakes too, you know. Kissinger taught there.

Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

No one ever wants the whole script. I give the whole script to people who require the whole script but to those people who don't require the whole script I don't give it to them and no one cares. They're relieved not to have to read extra pages that they're not in.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot