Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably.

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging.