There are three things Jewish people worship-God, Chinese food and wall-to-wall carpeting.

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.

When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.

My wife and I thought we were in love, but it turned out to be benign

Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate.

There are drawbacks in being famous too, but you can live with those. They're not life-threatening. If the paparazzi are outside your restaurant or your house - and actors make such a big thing of it and scurry into cars and drape things - you think they're going to be crucified or something. It's not a big deal. You can get used to that. It's not so terrible.

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.