If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?

I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker.

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.

Subjectivity is objective.

I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.