If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?

Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing 'Embraceable You' in spats.

All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that.

When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.

I loathed every day and regret every day I spent in school. I like to be taught to read and write and add and then be left alone.

Ads answered out of desperation in the New York Review of Books proved equally futile as…the 'Bay Area Bisexual' told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?