I think universal harmony is a pipedream and it may be more productive to focus on more modest goals, like a ban on yodeling.

Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.

Everybody knows how awful the world is and what a terrible situation it is and each person distorts it in a certain way that enables him to get through. Some people distort it with religious things. Some people distort it with sports, with money, with love, with art, and they all have their own nonsense about what makes it meaningful, and all but nothing makes it meaningful. These things definitely serve a certain function, but in the end they all fail to give life meaning and everyone goes to his grave in a meaningless way.

I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?

I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security.

Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen.

Someday the lion is going to lie down with the lamb, but the lamb isn't going to get much sleep.