Life is tough and it's tough whether you're famous or not famous. And in the end it's probably better to be famous because the perks are better. You get better seats at the basketball game, and you get better tables and reservations places. If I call a doctor on Saturday morning I can get him. There's a lot of things, indulgences that you don't get, if you're not famous. Now I'm not saying it's fair. But I can't say that I don't enjoy it.

The best things in life are censored.

I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy.

All the crap they tell you about... getting joy and having a kind of wisdom in your golden years - it's all tripe.

I think a relationship is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.

Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment.

I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.