Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.

Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

Men learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.

Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do?

I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. ­

Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. Drama is like a plate of meat and potatoes, comedy is rather the dessert, a bit like meringue.