Well, if I don't get at least 16 hours, I'm a basket case.

I always feel the cynicism is reality with maybe an alternate spelling or something because I feel that I have real perspective on this particular issue of punishment in society.

Who's the bigger idiot, the idiot or the idiot who gets fooled by the idiot?

And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right.

The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought.

Last year I had difficulty with my income tax. I tried to take my analyst off as a business deduction. The Government said it was entertainment. We compromised finally and made it a religious contribution.