I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings.

This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead - not sick, not wounded - dead.

Achilles only had an Achilles heel, I have an entire Achilles body.

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.

Love is too weak a word for what I feel - I luuurve you, you know, I loave you, I luff you, two F's, yes.

It's a match made in heaven...by a retarded angel.