I wouldn't mind dying so much if it wasn't that I would be dead at the end of it.

Money is not everything, but it is better than having one's health.

I don't think my film style has changed. I'm doing the same kind of jokes I did when I was younger.

Sex on Twitter can't hurt you - unless you fall off.

Dear Mom and Dad, Leave $50,000 in a bag under the bridge on Decatur Street. If there is no bridge on Decatur Street, please build one.

[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day.

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex.