The wicked at heart probably know something.

Honey, you're the one who stopped sleeping with me, OK? It'll be a year come April 20th. I remember the date exactly, because it was Hitler's birthday

This stuff tastes awful; I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store.

Raised by two mothers...wow, most of us barely survive one

I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics.

You know what my philosophy of life is? That it’s important to have some laughs, but you got to suffer a little too, because otherwise you miss the whole point to life.

Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end.