Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

With me; it's just a genetic dissatisfaction with everything.

My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting.

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle!

The whole thrust of science and the medical profession is to try and prevent it from happening, to try to prolong life, to keep you from dying, to keep you from getting older, to rejuvenate you. I mean, that's everybody's wish. The fountain of youth is everybody's sought-after thing.

Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.

What people who don't write don't understand is that they think you make up the line consciously — but you don't. It proceeds from your unconscious. So it's the same surprise to you when it emerges as it is to the audience when the comic says it. I don't think of the joke and then say it. I say it and then realize what I've said. And I laugh at it, because I'm hearing it for the first time myself.