I wonder if Socrates and Plato took a house on Crete during the summer.

Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained.

My gift was in comedy. I found out I could make jokes. I could tell jokes. I could write them. So over the years, that's what I've done.

Some drink deeply from the river of knowledge. Others only gargle.

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors.

Honey! Bring down a copy of my will - and an eraser!