The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts.
Woody AllenI had a mad impulse to throw you down on the lunar surface and commit interstellar perversion with you.
Woody AllenGeez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts.
Woody AllenFigures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano.
Woody AllenReal life is generally much duller and inevitably sadder, most of the time. In film, you control everything that's going on, so you can indulge the most fantastic, romantic, escapist feelings and fantasies. You can do anything you want. That's why it's very seductive and pleasurable to earn your living making movies because you're not living in the real world.
Woody AllenRetirement is a very subjective thing. There are guys I know who retire and they're very happy and they never miss work at all. I can't see myself retiring and fondling a dog every day. I like to get up and work and go out. I have too much energy or too much nervous anxiety or something. So I don't see myself retiring. Maybe I will suddenly get a stroke or a heart attack and I will be forced to retire, but if my health holds out I don't expect to retire.
Woody Allen