I am told the settlement of $5 million I am being paid is the largest amount ever paid under the New York right to privacy law

We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit!

My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does everything my father does, only much better. The depressing thing is my mother ran out and bought one

Psychoanalyses is like music lessons, for 5 years you do not notice any progress and suddenly you can play the piano.

If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?

Enthusiasm is a good engine, but it needs intelligence for a driver.

See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics.