This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.

I idolized Superman when I was younger. I thought he and I had a lot in common. He was always going into phonebooths and taking off all his clothes.

I've gained no wisdom, no insight, no mellowing. I would make all the same mistakes again, today.

When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while.

Is there a separation between body and mind, and if so which is it better to have?

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.

I'm awash in self-contempt!