I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys.

We knew the front door was always left open, but we broke in just to keep in practice. Doxy turned all the Washburn family photos to the wall so there wouldn't be any witnesses.

End production today. Wrap party as usual a little sad. Slow danced with Scarlett. Broke her toe. Not my fault. When she dipped me back, I stepped on it. Penélope [Cruz] and Javier [Bardem] anxious to work with me again. Said if I ever come up with another screenplay to try and find them. Goodbye drink with Rebecca [Hall]. Sentimental moment. Everyone in cast and crew chipped in and bought me a ballpoint pen.

The curtain rises on a vast primitive wasteland, not unlike certain parts of New jersey.

Problems are like toilet paper. You pull on one and ten more come.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

The most important words in the English language are not 'I love you' but 'it's benign.'