This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brotherโs crazy. He thinks heโs a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why donโt you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess thatโs pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know theyโre totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.
Woody AllenI've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude.
Woody AllenI'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Woody Allen