My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.

In the event of war, I'm a hostage.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

Man cannot live by bread alone. Every once in awhile he needs a salad.

Men would make love with any number of women ... even total strangers, while females were selective. They were catering to the demands of one small egg. While males had millions of frantic sperms screaming: "Let us out, let us out!".

Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake?