My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist.

I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying.

Why ruin a good story with the truth?

I can't understand why more people aren't bisexual. It would double your chances for a date on Saturday night.

I always thought it would be very funny if I was a blind film director.

We Are The Sum Total Of Our Choices.