Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end.

Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors.

The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.

I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening.

When I asked my mother where babies came from, she thought I said rabies. She said you get them from being bitten by a dog. The next week, a woman on my block gave birth to triplets... I thought she'd been bitten by a Great Dane.

Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around.

I've always had an easy time directing actors because I always hire ones that are great before I get my hands on them.