For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive.

I see the glass half full...but of poison.

Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.

When a man is driving in a car and looks out the window and notices a woman with a great body, as he strains to check her face out, how does she know to keep turning so the back of her head is always toward him?

Showing up is 80 percent of life.

I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can.

In life, one is entitled to a side dish of either coleslaw or potato salad, and the choice must be made in terror, with the knowledge that not only is our time on earth limited but most kitchens close at ten.