His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

I keep wondering if there is an afterlife, and if there is will they be able to break a twenty?

She had been critical of his new torch song, "A Side Order of Heartache, Please," suggesting it could be used as a good way to break in their new paper shredder.

If my soul exists without my body I am convinced all my clothes will be loose-fitting

I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know.

When we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty.

When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject.