We're lost, but we're making good time.

Responding to a question about remarks attributed to him that he did not think were his: "I really didn't say everything I said."

I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!

The future isn't what is used to be.

So I'm ugly. So what? I never saw anyone hit with his face.

Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself.

Ninety percent of the game (baseball) is half mental.