Nobody did nothin' to nobody.

What the hell is wrong with him now?

You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.

If my father was alive to hear that, he'd turn over in his grave.

I don't mean to be funny.

There are some people who, if they don't already know, you can't tell 'em.

I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.