I went to film school and wanted to learn everything there was about making movies.

Hitler had the right idea. He was just an underachiever.

It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?

I don't care about image and all that nonsense. I'm in sweat pants every day. I don't play the game at all.

If I wasn't an actor? Hmm, I'd probably be a serial killer. I'm just so damn likeable, no one would ever suspect me.

Well it's not that I HATE them, but honestly if I saw two homeless people begging for money, one white and one black, and I only had one quarter... Well I'd probably keep it actually.

Every time I see a child walking down the street I like to trip them. While they look for their missing teeth, I personally remind them that no matter how hard they try I will always be better than them.