I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.

I mean, nobody's ever thrown a big rock at me or my friends, but we're all pretty tough guys and could probably handle it.

It's... it's such a weird thing. After Garden State, so many companies wanted to make my movies, and after The Last Kiss, I realized people would make anything I was in. As long as I keep this up I'll be swimming in chubby indie girl pussy.

If John McCain were really a war hero he would've won Vietnam.

I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.

I mean, some people accuse me of being racist. I'm totally not, I'm just better than everybody else.

The Jews are just clumsy bakers.