I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you like and leaving the rest behind.

I don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?

Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist

I always encourage over-tipping if you can afford it because share the wealth.

After all meat is meat. I don't understand why so many people are bithing about it. It's very healthy and contains lots of vitamins

I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.

Now that 'Scrubs' is over, people seem to feel more comfortable telling me that I was a total douche to them for the past 8 years. And the whole time I'm thinking, 'Who ARE you?'