I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.

I had a very funny family.

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?

I never really understood all the hype, until I got one of my own.

I really like just super dry comedy.

Well, you need to have at least one black friend, otherwise people think you're racist