I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.

I don't get why arabs are so pissed off at us. I mean they have enough oil for all of them to drive a hummer at what, maybe 1.50 a gallon?

The only real difference between hookers, stippers, sluts and regualar women how many times you can hit them before they cry. Hookers can really take a punch, I'll tell you that much.

Eight gold medals? If I wanted I could make a movie about me winning nine gold medals. Now that's real power.

I think we have to acknowledge that people are different and succeed at different things, first of all. Men are better than women at some professions like firefighting, construction work, and physics. But women are better than men at some professions, too, like elementary teaching, prostitution, and giving birth. Who's to say which is more important?

I had no interest in sports so I didn't make friends in that traditional way where kids are in public school and they go and they join clubs, and play sports. So I kind of had to find my own way to make friends and get attention and so I just was the class clown.

I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.