It raises several serious questions. For example, how can there possibly be more than one person as awesome as me?

I went to film school and wanted to learn everything there was about making movies.

Some people just don't want to put in the effort. I just show up and say some lines and I'm famous. Anyone living below the poverty line just needs to shape up or be shipped out, you know?

I've been doing som jogging at home recently and every time I try the distance I end up beating his time with like three or four seconds.

I mean, I understand that Scrubs was my big break, but sooner or later you have to move on. I've already directed a movie, which received very good reviews, so it just seems much more important to me now. I feel that in order to better foster my creativity as an actor and director at this point, I need to be surrounded by other talented, artistic individuals, instead of just goofy comedians.

Being around blind people is always a little frustrating to me because I know they have no idea how handsome I am.

Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.