I'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.

I was inspired by World Vision. It's almost like I sponsored (Donald) Faison and gave him an opportunity to do something with his life. What more would he want than to work with me?

You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.

Somebody approached me about writing a biography on me, I told them they were too late.

You don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast in bed or I'll kill all of them.

I can't say I agree with something that takes the focus away from me.

I know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.