People ask me, 'Did the fame come too fast? Do you ever wish for your old life?' I always tell them that there's nothing on earth better than being famous.

Sometimes I regret not being Catholic. I think I'd make a pretty good saint.

Sure the jews killed jesus, but the guy was an awful carpenter

One time I considered making a video game about my life where people control a character called 'Zach Braff' and run around being awesome. Then I realized that getting to pretend to be me would be like shooting up heroin for anyone who played it, and I don't want that on my conscience.

I believe the general consensus is the bigger it is, the more women flock to you. I guess its a good thing mine is HUGE!

The fact that 'Scrubs' is so popular in Israel is very important to me. I feel like I'm helping to cancel out the thousands of years of oppression the Jewish people have suffered.

Yeah i thought about making the character of JD gay... But then i thought, but what about all the poor girls dreams you'll be crushing