I think the [New England] Patriots' season should have an asterisk next to it because everything they're accomplishing is against teams coached by people other than me.

I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.

People have always wondered what my opinion on Stevie Wonder is. I say if he's so great how come he can't see? I mean, God doesn't make mistakes, just look at me for example.

I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.

It's a good thing I'm a professional and could see the pure genius talent behind the raw sexual beauty.

I've always wanted to have kids of my own, it's just tough finding a woman I wouldn't be wasting my DNA on.

Incognito mode? What do they have to hide? Zach Braff doesn't have anything to hide - Zach Braff lays it all out there for everybody to see. That is Zach Braff's secret to Zach Braff's success.