In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.

I think sports are very beneficial in the fight against obesity. I remember playing little league - I was the best person on the pitch by a long shot. It was only last weekend actually, I think I have some photos of it if you're interested.

I really don't give a care, I'm going to live for ever

Well I can understand why men want it to be legal. Obviously they're all hoping they might get to marry me someday. I hate to burst their bubble, but they should just give it up now. Zach Braff doesn't sway that way, you know?

I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.

Every time I see a child walking down the street I like to trip them. While they look for their missing teeth, I personally remind them that no matter how hard they try I will always be better than them.

If John McCain were really a war hero he would've won Vietnam.