In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.

In my opinion, one of the biggest drawbacks about Sergio Leone films are the scores composed by Ennio Morricone. If [Leone] were as talented as I am, he would have made mixtapes for his movies instead of letting some schmuck write the soundtracks for him. But then if he were as talented as I am, he'd be Zach Braff. And have his own Grammy.

I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?

I really couldn't say how famous I really am, that's for the history books to decide. But I'll probably be pretty up there.

I really like just super dry comedy.

My co-stars aren't bad actors, but they're no Zach Braff.

When you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We don't have to suffer them anymore so why are there all these little people running around?