Every single person wants to do it, don't hate me because I had the guts to follow my heart!

Complete garbage. It's like Garden State, but in outer space.

Oh I love children, but I could never eat a whole one.

If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once.

I know that [Mike] Tyson talked about wanting to eat his opponent's children, but I don't think he ever had the balls to do it. I'm different - when I kidnapped Bill Lawrence's daughter, I cut off all of her fingers before sending my demands so that I wouldn't have to sit there and wait for him to ignore them. We worked things about about nine hours in, which is good because I ate her thumb as a midnight snack.

Im just not really attracted to black chicks.

If we're going to solve the problems in North Korea, the first thing we're going to have to do is start helping them get basic amenities like electricity, televisions, and DVD players over there. Otherwise, how can they watch 'Garden State'?