I was inspired by World Vision. It's almost like I sponsored (Donald) Faison and gave him an opportunity to do something with his life. What more would he want than to work with me?

Yeah, I've banged some female costars. I swore I'd never tell their names, so instead I'll present some anagrams: Sahar Clahke and Haether Gharam.

It's not terrible, I guess, but if Ricky Gervais was half as talented as me, maybe the show would actually be funny once in a while.

Yeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do

I don't know why people were so upset with me. Prince got his own symbol. I just wanted to adopt the handicap symbol as my own so I could park in handicap spots. Deformed people should be honored to park so close to me. Meeting a celebrity like me may give them hope in their mistake of a life.

If it were up to me, it'd be outlawed. I mean, come on. Zach Braff was born streamlined, and that's how it should stay!

If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once.