Sometimes you just gotta use what God gave you to the best of your abilities.

I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.

I don't even like the show that much, I mean, it's about doctors. It's not like doctors are as important as actors anyway, I bet I've saved more lives with my acting talent then any doctor has.

I stand stark naked in front of the mirror and gaze directly into my own eyes. I utter 'Good morning, handsome' and my lips quiver as I stare at myown body. I don't break eye contact until I blow my load. Not once do I actually touch myself.

Well, I'm not saying that America is a bad place or anything. I just think 9/11 needed to happen sooner or later.

It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.

When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.