I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.

I had no interest in sports so I didn't make friends in that traditional way where kids are in public school and they go and they join clubs, and play sports. So I kind of had to find my own way to make friends and get attention and so I just was the class clown.

I'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.

It's not that George Bush doesn't care about black people, god made hurricanes, not people who can't swim.

I never go easy on kids when I play board games. The sooner they learn what the consequence of entering a competition is, the better. If they win, I punch them in the face like any adult.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

You always see black people complaining about this and that, but you never see me complaining about how slow they work on my plantation.