I really don't know why we need a whole month dedicated to blacks. It's not like they're the only ones that suffered. I mean, what about us whites? We're the ones that have to deal with these monkeys everyday, but you don't see us demanding a whole month to ourselves.

I'm not sure when or why the tabloid angle on me was decided that I am a cad. I would have much rather it had been that I am secretly a dentist or that I love soup.

I'd never hit a woman unless I was already out of Viagra.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

Now, I'm not going to be misquoted on this like I have numerous times before, so I'll be quite clear. I've never said hitler was my hero, just that if he had focused on more than one race he would have had the right idea. Try to turn that one against me.

People compared Garden State to the Graduate, but when was the last time you saw Dustin Hoffman doing what I do?

I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.