It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.

I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.

I figure it this way - if a woman claims she didn't want me to fudge her, then you already know she's a liar. So what the hell's the point of a trial, y'know?

I think a lot of people are drawn to seeing people that want to be better. We see it in ourselves.

The biggest problem I had with starring in Scrubs were the black doctors. I just had to keep telling myself this show was satire.

I like to think of myself as the Chris Benoit of the movie industry, capable of taking any picture and carrying it to box-office success. Take Garden State, without me that would have just been two hours of Portman doging.

My tears cure cancer too, it's just that I laugh at cancer patients.