It's just people trying to get on TV, not like it's really going to do them any good since people can just watch me.

I've always tried to learn from the greats: Orson Welles, Humphrey Bogart, Ghandi, Buddha, Jesus... it's just that there's this tremendous pressure to correct all the things they got wrong.

I don't ask questions. I just figure the extra warm days are God's way of rewarding me for Garden State

I'm a busy guy; I just get a lot of people that sound like me to go out and visit them. They don't know the difference and, let's face it, they aren't going to be paying to see my movies anytime soon.

I heard about the Dalai Lama, you know and I thought to myself, why not me?

I was excited about The Dark Knight until Heath Ledger gave away the ending, Batman always wins.

I've never had much sympathy for orphans, I mean, when I was their age I would have killed to have no parents to make me clean my room and stuff