When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.

There is one person I can think of better than me. And that's Zach Braff. What a cool guy.

A lot of people consider 9/11 to be a tragedy, and in some ways it is, but I think there's also opportunity for a lot of humor there.

I don't think it's a black and white issue. If a man's family is starving so to speak, I don't think I'll hold it against him for stealing a loaf of bread.

I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.

I love queers as much as the next guy, I just don't think I should have to sit beside them on public transport.

If we're going to solve the problems in North Korea, the first thing we're going to have to do is start helping them get basic amenities like electricity, televisions, and DVD players over there. Otherwise, how can they watch 'Garden State'?