When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.

I'm not saying eating babies should be legal, but when they're so delicious, what's the harm in it? I don't know what tastes better, their innocence or their gooey rib butter.

I procrastinate so much and I get distracted by anything.

It was really starting to get pathetic, everyday they would come in looking for one thing or another. 'Zach, can you give me some acting tips?' 'Zach, will you let me blow you?' 'Can I have some cash?' That's when I made the call, that's when I decided seven was enough

I'm not actually an arrogant guy. It's just that, truthfully, nobody else can really compare to me.

Every single person wants to do it, don't hate me because I had the guts to follow my heart!

Every time I see a child walking down the street I like to trip them. While they look for their missing teeth, I personally remind them that no matter how hard they try I will always be better than them.