When I let some girl take me in her mouth I think this is what Jesus must feel like during communion.

I always encourage over-tipping if you can afford it because share the wealth.

You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.

I certainly do not consider myself the next Jesus. I'd say he was more of a precursor to Zach Braff.

Everyday I question myself. I look in the mirror, or read one of my scripts, or I reflect on my acting and I say to myself 'that was good...but was it Zach Braff good?' Lets just say things have been looking pretty Zach Braff so far.

Am I really gonna deny someone the opportunity of a lifetime just because they met me 5 easters early?

So I was at the gas station the other day, and I saw that there was braille on the pumps. I don't see how they can cater to blind drivers. I mean, there are certain rights you should lose once you lose what makes you a person.