So I was at the gas station the other day, and I saw that there was braille on the pumps. I don't see how they can cater to blind drivers. I mean, there are certain rights you should lose once you lose what makes you a person.

It's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!

Let's face it, it's only called Scrubs because I'm saving 'Zach Braff' for my autobiography.

Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.

Gay men in L.A. are all a bunch of tens looking for an eleven.

I guess sometimes God just needs to laugh

I'm pretty sure Africa was made up by the media to scare people. I mean, I've never seen it. Have you? I didn't think so.