I remember once I went to go see a movie, and in front of me in line there was a little boy who looked so eager to see it, like it was Christmas morning. When he got to the ticket booth it turned out there was only one ticket left; the manager was there and wanted to give it to me instead since I was famous. That's when I knew I'd hit it big.
Zach BraffActually, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror years ago. I wasn't making it to work on time.
Zach BraffPeople always say The God Father is the #1 movie of all time. But ask yourself, did you see Zach Braff in it....No you didn't. So then by default it goes to Garden State..and if youwatch two episodes of scrubs back to back that counts as the #2.
Zach BraffI mean, I'm a writer, actor, AND director. Not to rock the boat or anything, but compare that to a carpenter and, in the end, who is the better man?
Zach BraffI tried it a few times but didn't see the point. I'm Zach Braff. What the fudge do I need a team for besides holding me back and sucking? If I wanted that, I'd just walk on the set of 'Scrubs'.
Zach BraffAt first, I didn't really care if global warming existed. But then I realized it means that less bums would freeze to death in the winter
Zach BraffFirst I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. I don't know if it was technically sex because I just beat off on her face, but definitely one of my most intense orgasms.
Zach Braff