I'm not the kind of person who digs through things other people have thrown away.

I had a very funny family.

Am I really gonna deny someone the opportunity of a lifetime just because they met me 5 easters early?

A lot of people say colonialism was 'evil' or whatever, but what have they really done with Africa since we gave it back to them? I don't think it should be considered 'racist' to admit maybe ending apartheid did more harm than good in South Africa.

You know I was just taking a dump one day, and then as I sat there I realized, I really do deserve better.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

If a benevolent God exists, so does reincarnation. He wouldn't send me here just once.