You know how they do that effect in movies, where they make it look like you have a twin, but it's really just the same actor playing both characters in the scene? I knew this would be the best route, but I just wasn't comfortable dressing as a woman, so I had to hire other actors.

When I think about the holidays, I think about the Salvation Army guys ringing bells in front of stores. They're always so nice to you and they're always willing to give a heart to heart conversation. They actually bear the winter cold to ask for your petty cash with a smile on their face. Fudge those guys.

I figure it this way - if a woman claims she didn't want me to fudge her, then you already know she's a liar. So what the hell's the point of a trial, y'know?

I certainly do not consider myself the next Jesus. I'd say he was more of a precursor to Zach Braff.

Without me, Scrubs would be worse than the holocaust. But with me in it, it's turned into the lolocaust.

I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?

I guess sometimes God just needs to laugh