I think we have to acknowledge that people are different and succeed at different things, first of all. Men are better than women at some professions like firefighting, construction work, and physics. But women are better than men at some professions, too, like elementary teaching, prostitution, and giving birth. Who's to say which is more important?

I just don't see how anyone can hate America. I mean, crap, I live there. What more do you need?

I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.

Am I really gonna deny someone the opportunity of a lifetime just because they met me 5 easters early?

You know, I think there should be a Zach Braff Day. We could have it on December 25th and then people can decide whether they want to celebrate me or Jesus. If you ask me, the choice is pretty obvious.

I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.

I find my movie props in my neighbors houses.