Whenever I'm feeling a bit down, I always visit the local children's hospital. Knowing that those cancer-kids wont be able to live long enough to surpass me in fame just warms my heart, you know?

People often ask me when there's going to be a Mrs. Zach Braff. It's a confusing question sometimes because many people don't realize that my mother is named Mrs. Zach Braff.

I don't belive Oprah's sexual abuse stories, I mean who would take a black girl when there are plenty of white?

What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.

When I was little I always wanted to drive a train. That, and become a baker.

It really is fascinating stuff, and I've picked it up on Scrubs. Memorizing lines is at least as hard as studying a text book, I mean, by this point I know about as much as most 'real' doctors.

Didn't we learn our lesson from Planet of the Apes?