If nothing else, I'm making a movie that I'll enjoy.

I'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I don't think restaurants should refuse to serve minority people. They are quite tasty when prepared correctly.

Well, I've thought about donating, but they get so many damn donations already. I read about one foundation that raised over 100 million dollars. Well where the hell did that go? For all I know every starving child has a 2 story house by now. Or maybe they're all raging alcoholics, like homeless people. Homeless people who are more effective when it comes to raising money. Who wants to support alcoholic children? Not me.