If nothing else, I'm making a movie that I'll enjoy.

Sometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.

It's kind of ironic that my character is a doctor who acts very gay with his best friend. I don't see how gays could ever be doctors, they spend too much time whining about everything. Just get off your soapbox and go back to designing floral arrangements.

Its not that I'm in love with myself, I'm just trying to pick up everyone else's slack.

I love 'Scrubs.' It's the best day job in the world.

I wouldn't call myself a modern Shakespeare, but Shakespeare was probably to his generation what I am to mine.

People compared Garden State to the Graduate, but when was the last time you saw Dustin Hoffman doing what I do?