I love the holiday season, almost as much as I love touching myself in front of orphans.
The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.
I like the punch beggers and panhandlers when they ask me for change. I feel like I am doing my part to clean up the streets.
In April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.
Yea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.
What else could I tell them? I like my women like I like my whiskey: 12 years old and mixed up with coke.