I mean, I know thousands of people died and everything, but if it happened today, there's just no excuse. They'd be much safer inside a movie theater watching one of my movies instead of burning alive in a collapsing skyscraper.

It's a give and take relationship with my fans. They give me love and adoration, and I take it from them.

I had a very funny family.

People often ask me when there's going to be a Mrs. Zach Braff. It's a confusing question sometimes because many people don't realize that my mother is named Mrs. Zach Braff.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

Actually, I stopped looking at myself in the mirror years ago. I wasn't making it to work on time.

Over half a century on and they're still complaining about it. Compare it to the fact that Garden State didn't win an Oscar and they seem a little petty if you ask me. I guess that just goes to show what kind of people they really are.